Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Rating the new Transformer toy designs

Like every other male aged 25-32, I worshipped at the altar of a Decepticon God from ages 8 through 13. So what I'm sure all of you are wondering is this: are the new Transformer toys sweet...or shit? Let's have a look:

Optimus Prime: Fucking sweet. Although strangely reminiscent of the Mask truck, don't you think?

Bumblebee: Robot-mode, ok; Whatever-the-Hell-this-Dodge-Shitmobile-is, Shit. Bumblebee is supposed to be a Volkswagon BUG. That's why he was a freakin' BEE.

Megatron: In vehicle form, plastic cat vomit; as robot, skinny legged tranny pimp. WEAK.

Starscream: What the shit is this? How can he be a fat fuck of an airplane and an anorexic robot that looks vaguely like the post-plagic surgery Jenna Jameson at the same time? Garbage.


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